If you know anything about rickrolling, then you’ve heard enough of Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up” in the past week, which is I guess the point of rickrolling. A number of people have been proposing alternative tunes for rickrolling, so I thought I would offer my nominations for the:

Rickrolling Top 20 Hall of Shame

• Come On Eileen - Dexy’s Midnight Runners

If there were no Rick Astley we would have Dexyrolling.

• Macarena - Los Del Rio

• Who Let The Dogs Out - Baha Men

Please put the dogs back in before someone gets hurt.

• Walking on Sunshine - Katrina and the Waves

I walked on something and it doesn’t smell like sunshine.

• Milkshake - Kellis

It tastes more like that non-dairy stuff they have at Foster’s Freeze.

• Yamo Be There – Michael McDonald

What in God’s name is he saying? “Heavenly father watching us all. We take from each other and give nothing at all. Well it’s a dog-gone shame..” Oh.

• Horse With No Name – America

These lyrics were not so much written as culled from a night of first-grade Mad Libs.

• Girl You Know It’s True - Milli Vanilli

• Wake Me Up Before You Go Go – Wham

Sneaking quietly out the door.

• Do You Really Want to Hurt Me - Culture Club

• Love Plus One - Haircut 100

• Muskrat Love - The Captain and Tenille

• Hey There, Delilah - Plain White T’s

• The Sign – Ace of Base

• Small World Theme (It’s a Small World After All) - Walt Disney Productions

• We Built This City on Rock and Roll – Jefferson Starship

Yes, but apparently without the proper permits.

• How Am I Supposed to Live Without You? – Michael Bolton

“No-talent ass clown” of Office Space fame

• Billy Ray Cyrus Achy Breaky Heart

• Conga - Miami Sound Machine

• You’re Beautiful - James Blunt

In a special category are the narrative rickrolling tunes, with lengthy, often nauseating stories, sometimes interpreted endlessly by musicologists. Seriously, don’t bother.

• Cat’s in the Cradle - Harry Chapin

• American Pie – Don McClean

• Hotel California - The Eagles

• Stairway to Heaven – Led Zeppelin

Please add your nominations below, and dispute these freely.

Back when I had my crappy Motorola Razr, its only redeeming characteristic was its awesome ringtone, the one on Chev Chelios’ (Jason Statham) phone in the movie Crank.

I got an iPhone in December, and I’ve been missing that ringtone, but thanks to a hint from a friend on Facebook I found out that you can make ringtones in GarageBand. All you have to do is drag an mp3 into a GarageBand project, save it, and then under the “Share” menu, select “Send ringtone to iTunes.”

Hear Crank ringtone: here

And if you want it, here’s the ringtone in iPhone format.

Ostensibly bitter rivals Loren Feldman, of 1938 Media, and Shel Israel, co-author of Naked Conversations, tied the knot last night in a private, discreet ceremony at Las Vegas’s famed Candlelight Wedding Chapel. The two had been staging a fight on Twitter, and on their respective blogs, but insiders say this ruse was a stunt designed to stimulate blog traffic, improving the search engine ranking for both parties.

“It’s been so hard to carry on my anti-Shel campaign with a straight face while I have had the hugest ‘man crush’ on Shel,” said Feldman, when reached on his Nokia N95 “Smart Phone.” “He’s just so damn cute. What can I say? I have never been happier!”

The ceremony was attended only by the two men’s families and close friends. They will be honeymooning in St’ Bart’s, and returning to the San Francisco Bay Area to form a new joint venture, “Israel 1948 Communications.”

Some people use Twitter to share links to recent blog posts and news items, both their own and those posted by others. Some use it to talk about the weather and Elliot Spitzer. Still others use it to view news feeds, playlists, and other syndicated, periodic content. I fall into all three groups.

Twitter is fascinating in that it is apparently simple, yet can be molded to almost any business or personal use. As I think about how it can be used commercially, and how it would be more useful to me, there’s a feature I’d like to see that I call “tabbed channels.”

Right now, Twitter has two separate streams, the people you are following (Home) and everyone in the world who is twittering, (Public Timeline.) This doesn’t give me the flexibility I want. What would be awesome is the ability to create certain channels (via categories I assign) and then tag my Twitter names, so that I can have separate, topical conversational streams.

Here are the channels/tabs I would create right away:

• Colleagues PR and social media people
• Friends Co-workers, family, friends (this is where the “pizza guy is at the door” tweets go)
• Playlists I’d put my SomaFM and other streaming playlists here
• Newsfeed @Slashdot, CNET, Valleywag (many news feeds update so often, or in batch mode, fragmenting other conversation streams to the point of unreadability)
• 2000+ Club “A-List” bloggers with too many followers to actually engage anyone in a conversation, but who often have something interesting to say

The reason for separating out playlists for example is because including it in my regular stream is too distracting.

I can see all kinds of other channels. Why not a sports channel and people could tag their tweets accordingly?

I know Twitter’s simplicity is what makes it so appealing to some people, but ultimately, a lack of features and functionality will limit its commercial viability and will have people scratching their heads and saying “what’s the business model?”

* Note: this is essentially a reprint of a post I did last December on my old blog. Since that blog is no longer active, I decided to update the post and republish it here. Don’t hate me for doing that.

I talk too much. And I spend too much time on Twitter. So I’m not tweeting today. Since I am not a bird, I never thought I would compose that sentence.

I had dinner this evening in San Jose with some nice folks, including Florian Seroussi, CEO of Celtrek, and Pat Phelan, CEO of Cubic Telecom, in town for VON.x.

We were talking about Twitter (even offline Twitter is a popular topic), and Pat said he thinks people should talk less about themselves and more about what other people are doing. He also said if he sees someone tweet three times in a row, they’re off his follow list.

I think these are good guidelines. More than once I have found myself tweeting too often and shamelessly promoting my own agenda. So I’ve declared Twitterless Tuesday for myself. I’ll give myself and my Twitter friends a break. See you Wednesday. I think.

Reuters is reporting today that “Linden Lab Chief Executive Philip Rosedale said on Friday the company he founded has begun a search for a new CEO with more operational and management expertise.”

Techneuroti was unable to confirm at press time that Rosedale planned to formalize the announcement in a Second Life “virtual reality” ceremony to be attended by thousands of really tall, slim, attractive avatars, many of whom can fly.

Thanks Chris Hambly via Twitter for the link to the Reuters story.

Here is a screenshot from a game of Scrabulous (Facebook online Scrabble) in which a single word, deshypothequiez, scores 1797 points.

My French is rudimentary, and I don’t know the rules by which this particular game was played, but impressive nonetheless. And remind me never to play Augustin, though I think I could take Edouard.

This post has been removed in accordance with the P.A.T.R.I.O.T. Act.

Thanks to my BFF The Everywhere Girl for the pointer to these great hints for new parents: