My Rickrolling Top 20 Hall of Shame
If you know anything about rickrolling, then you’ve heard enough of Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up” in the past week, which is I guess the point of rickrolling. A number of people have been proposing alternative tunes for rickrolling, so I thought I would offer my nominations for the:
Rickrolling Top 20 Hall of Shame
- Come On Eileen - Dexy’s Midnight Runners
If there were no Rick Astley we would have Dexyrolling.
- Macarena - Los Del Rio
- Who Let The Dogs Out - Baha Men
Please put the dogs back in before someone gets hurt.
- Walking on Sunshine - Katrina and the Waves
I walked on something and it doesn’t smell like sunshine.
- Milkshake - Kellis
It tastes more like that non-dairy stuff they have at Foster’s Freeze.
- Yamo Be There – Michael McDonald
What in God’s name is he saying? “Heavenly father watching us all. We take from each other and give nothing at all. Well it’s a dog-gone shame..” Oh.
- Horse With No Name – America
These lyrics were not so much written as culled from a night of first-grade Mad Libs.
- Girl You Know It’s True - Milli Vanilli
- Wake Me Up Before You Go Go – Wham
Sneaking quietly out the door.
- Do You Really Want to Hurt Me - Culture Club
- Love Plus One - Haircut 100
- Muskrat Love - The Captain and Tenille
- Hey There, Delilah - Plain White T’s
- The Sign – Ace of Base
- Small World Theme (It’s a Small World After All) - Walt Disney Productions
- We Built This City on Rock and Roll – Jefferson Starship
Yes, but apparently without the proper permits.
- How Am I Supposed to Live Without You? – Michael Bolton
“No-talent ass clown” of Office Space fame
- Billy Ray Cyrus Achy Breaky Heart
- Conga - Miami Sound Machine
- You’re Beautiful - James Blunt
In a special category are the narrative rickrolling tunes, with lengthy, often nauseating stories, sometimes interpreted endlessly by musicologists. Seriously, don’t bother.
- Cat’s in the Cradle - Harry Chapin
- American Pie – Don McClean
- Hotel California - The Eagles
- Stairway to Heaven – Led Zeppelin
Please add your nominations below, and dispute these freely.
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I reckon Wham’s Wake Me Up Before You Go Go would be pretty bad. Otherwise, my vote’s for Achy Breaky Heart.
Or I Want to Know What Love Is by Foreigner.
The embarrassing thing for me is that the ’special category’ contains many of my top favourite ’70s songs.
But here’s a semi-obscure addition: ‘Jody’ by Joey Gregorash; valuable if you ever wondered what ’stands for freedom’. (It’s a Canadian hit, so I’m not sure how much airplay it had south of the border.)
Horse With No Name gets my vote, certainly for the most incredibly stupid lyrics ever professionally recorded. “Plants and rocks and things” indeed.
“Hey There Delilah” is clearly the rookie of the year in this category. No way does this moron have an outside chance of becoming my son-in-law.
You omitted my favorite karaoke song: “The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia.” Vicki Lawrence never sounded so p*****. Some of the sting was removed when the Ray Conniff Orchestra did a cover, but as they say, you can’t unring a bell. (Or unshoot Andy in this case).
Also up for nomination in the nauseating narrative category should be:
“Shannon” — Henry Gross
“Wildfire” — Michael Martin Murphy
“I Don’t Believe in If Anymore” — Roger Whittaker
The Vengaboys get their own category.
Thanks for this post. I cannot get Yamo Be There out of my mind!