• Don’t post updates on Twitter about this
• Ignore the endless succession of blog posts analyzing the situation and advising the players on what to do
• Unfollow and unfriend people who won’t shut up about this

Take back your social networks! Don’t waste another moment! Admit it, no one really cares!

Rickrolling Top 20 Hall of Shame

• Come On Eileen - Dexy’s Midnight Runners

If there were no Rick Astley we would have Dexyrolling.

• Macarena - Los Del Rio

• Who Let The Dogs Out - Baha Men

Please put the dogs back in before someone gets hurt.

• Walking on Sunshine - Katrina and the Waves

I walked on something and it doesn’t smell like sunshine.

• Milkshake - Kellis

It tastes more like that non-dairy stuff they have at Foster’s Freeze.

• Yamo Be There – Michael McDonald

What in God’s name is he saying? “Heavenly father watching us all. We take from each other and give nothing at all. Well it’s a dog-gone shame..” Oh.

• Horse With No Name – America

These lyrics were not so much written as culled from a night of first-grade Mad Libs.

• Girl You Know It’s True - Milli Vanilli

• Wake Me Up Before You Go Go – Wham

Sneaking quietly out the door.

• Do You Really Want to Hurt Me - Culture Club

• Love Plus One - Haircut 100

• Muskrat Love - The Captain and Tenille

• Hey There, Delilah - Plain White T’s

• The Sign – Ace of Base

• Small World Theme (It’s a Small World After All) - Walt Disney Productions

• We Built This City on Rock and Roll – Jefferson Starship

Yes, but apparently without the proper permits.

• How Am I Supposed to Live Without You? – Michael Bolton

“No-talent ass clown” of Office Space fame

• Billy Ray Cyrus Achy Breaky Heart

• Conga - Miami Sound Machine

• You’re Beautiful - James Blunt

In a special category are the narrative rickrolling tunes, with lengthy, often nauseating stories, sometimes interpreted endlessly by musicologists. Seriously, don’t bother.

• Cat’s in the Cradle - Harry Chapin

• American Pie – Don McClean

• Hotel California - The Eagles

• Stairway to Heaven – Led Zeppelin

Please add your nominations below, and dispute these freely.

I got an iPhone in December, and I’ve been missing that ringtone, but thanks to a hint from a friend on Facebook I found out that you can make ringtones in GarageBand. All you have to do is drag an mp3 into a GarageBand project, save it, and then under the “Share” menu, select “Send ringtone to iTunes.”

Hear Crank ringtone: here

And if you want it, here’s the ringtone in iPhone format.

“It’s been so hard to carry on my anti-Shel campaign with a straight face while I have had the hugest ‘man crush’ on Shel,” said Feldman, when reached on his Nokia N95 “Smart Phone.” “He’s just so damn cute. What can I say? I have never been happier!”

The ceremony was attended only by the two men’s families and close friends. They will be honeymooning in St’ Bart’s, and returning to the San Francisco Bay Area to form a new joint venture, “Israel 1948 Communications.”

Twitter is fascinating in that it is apparently simple, yet can be molded to almost any business or personal use. As I think about how it can be used commercially, and how it would be more useful to me, there’s a feature I’d like to see that I call “tabbed channels.”

Right now, Twitter has two separate streams, the people you are following (Home) and everyone in the world who is twittering, (Public Timeline.) This doesn’t give me the flexibility I want. What would be awesome is the ability to create certain channels (via categories I assign) and then tag my Twitter names, so that I can have separate, topical conversational streams.

Here are the channels/tabs I would create right away:

• Colleagues PR and social media people
• Friends Co-workers, family, friends (this is where the “pizza guy is at the door” tweets go)
• Playlists I’d put my SomaFM and other streaming playlists here
• Newsfeed @Slashdot, CNET, Valleywag (many news feeds update so often, or in batch mode, fragmenting other conversation streams to the point of unreadability)
• 2000+ Club “A-List” bloggers with too many followers to actually engage anyone in a conversation, but who often have something interesting to say

The reason for separating out playlists for example is because including it in my regular stream is too distracting.

I can see all kinds of other channels. Why not a sports channel and people could tag their tweets accordingly?

I know Twitter’s simplicity is what makes it so appealing to some people, but ultimately, a lack of features and functionality will limit its commercial viability and will have people scratching their heads and saying “what’s the business model?”

* Note: this is essentially a reprint of a post I did last December on my old blog. Since that blog is no longer active, I decided to update the post and republish it here. Don’t hate me for doing that.

I had dinner this evening in San Jose with some nice folks, including Florian Seroussi, CEO of Celtrek, and Pat Phelan, CEO of Cubic Telecom, in town for VON.x.

We were talking about Twitter (even offline Twitter is a popular topic), and Pat said he thinks people should talk less about themselves and more about what other people are doing. He also said if he sees someone tweet three times in a row, they’re off his follow list.

I think these are good guidelines. More than once I have found myself tweeting too often and shamelessly promoting my own agenda. So I’ve declared Twitterless Tuesday for myself. I’ll give myself and my Twitter friends a break. See you Wednesday. I think.

Techneuroti was unable to confirm at press time that Rosedale planned to formalize the announcement in a Second Life “virtual reality” ceremony to be attended by thousands of really tall, slim, attractive avatars, many of whom can fly.

Thanks Chris Hambly via Twitter for the link to the Reuters story.

My French is rudimentary, and I don’t know the rules by which this particular game was played, but impressive nonetheless. And remind me never to play Augustin, though I think I could take Edouard.